what a strange weather and what a strange timing .. as if the universe understands how i feel ..
it's so windy and cold outside .. lots of dust in the wind too .. it's really restless although it's 2:00 am .. everyone is asleep .. silence at last .. i'm just trying to finish my work calmly after a very rough day i had yesterday and an awful night i'll live to remember ..
Never felt that terrible .. Never felt that discusting .. Never wished dying like i wished last night .. My brains were about to pop out of my mind and scream out loud: "LEAVE ME ALONE!" ..
I really don't mean to be gloomy people .. try to understand the daily pressure i'm in .. writing is the only thing that helps me stay alive .. i admit i'm not always that clumsy and bloomy .. but i really don't intend to .. sometimes i'm just being sentimental or even romantic .. but people tend to remember the sad things about me .. don't know why .. maybe cuz they think i can never feel happy .. or maybe cuz they think that i'm a complicated living creature walking on earth ..
Wish i could do like my shrink said .. wish i could just let go of the little voices that always tell me that i'm not good enough .. or that i'm not fun to be with .. although i am .. i swear i do love laughs and jokes all day long .. but i don't like emptyness nor love the idea of being pointless .. that's just me .. why can't others accept this ?? .. why am i the only one who should take all the crap from everyone and gladly accept it :) ?! .. it's damn hard being sensitive !
.. N.O.H.A ..