Monday, June 23, 2008

Simply Numb ...

it's been a while since I've posted anything.. it doesn't mean that I've not tried, but i really have nothing to say.. what is left of me to present? that's not really the case.. the point is i lost the urge.. i lost the passion.. i lost the thrill of everything that surround me.. however, what really drives me crazy is that i lost the key of communication.. i really can't deal with people anymore.. i have more fights and argues than i have ever had in my entire life.. i became unable of tolerating people and their stupid actions.. I'm very aggressive and rude.. I'm really repulsive and what's worse is that i don't mind.. i find myself safer this way.. no one can penetrate my life and order me what to and not to do.. of course as a result, lots of people are simply neglecting me and i agree with them.. no one likes to hang around a girl who only thinks of the bad things that strike her every now and then and is always taking life too seriously most of the time and above all a big fat loser :) :)


i feel like I'm never good enough for anyone.. no one is trying just to accept me for who i am.. they always neglect me at the end.. maybe that's why i push people away.. maybe that's why i don't want to deal with them.. maybe that's why i love myself's company more than anyone in this world.. I'm always outcast.. most of the time, i don't mind, but at times i really feel like i could use some company.. and the more the neglection increases, the more i become paranoiac.. and the cycle begins.. the more i become paranoiac, of course people will fly miles away :)

i wish i was better.. i wish i was someone else.. i wish i could inhale life and rebel my own.. i wish i had hopes and dreams that really come true.. i wish i had what it takes to be successful.. i wish i had the strength of facing all my fears and doubts.. i wish i had better people around me.. i wish i had true love.. i wish i had the determination to be patient and pursue what i want.. i wish i had the opportunity to do great things.. i wish people could understand me.. i wish i could fly away to a place where things aren't that tough.. i wish i had a real friend beside me.. i wish i could get a treatment.. i wish i could be more efficient and function like normal people do.. i wish i could change.. i wish i could find a better me, a happier me, a doubtless me, a funny me, a considerate me.. is it so much to ask??!!

.. N.O.H.A ..

2 comments:

  1. gameeeeeeeel awe ya noha...bas m3lsh est7mle..momkn da ykon emt7aaaaan rabna lel nas el kwyesa sa7? :D
    btfakare kteer ya noha.
    bas dmaghek gamda awe masha2 allaaah 3agbaniiiiiii
    bossi 7awle mtrkzeesh meen 3ayz y3od m3aki wla ente 3yza t3ode m3 meen..el mohm enk t7wle tb2e el kolo 3ayz y3od m3aha y3ni tb2e good htla2e el mwdoo3 etsla7.d wasfa kan 7ad alhali..wel donia mag noona dun wry

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  2. We are demanding, we put high expectations; we think too much & ask life to be simpler. NEVER.

    When you buy a high-end product of customizable & optimum features? You'll have to spend a lot of time working it out. We are that product. I'm glad you figured out that "maybe that's why i love myself's company more than anyone in this world".
    Or else, we throw the whole thing away.
    I myself accept no mediator, I guess.
    I love grey, but I don't do it. I'm either very white or very black.

    This is the "campaign": Let's not be intense.
    "Baby, it's all right. Baby, IT'S ALL RIGHT... it's only us" Robbie Williams.

    Oh, compassionate God, please make us of whom you granted comfy. Ameen.

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