Sunday, July 4, 2010

Qualifications of a Happy Girl



Is it too late for her to feel safe? Is it that hard to be trapped in a world of a happy face? Why is it that hard for her to smile? Why can’t she be like any normal girl who walks the streets? She looks at her mirror and wonders. In her hands are bits of her hair, falling down like drops of rain, yet she can’t help but wonder, why do all those crazy things happen to her? She knows there’s a reason for everything, but she’s quite fed up. Not just totally yet, I suppose.

What is she going to do, that’s the real question. It’s always the paradox of choice that quivers her. She can’t seem to find a firm answer to all her decisions. For ages, she’s been much assertive, but lately nothing falls into place. Again, she feels her head itching and itching. It must be her hair falling down. Whenever she’s stressed, she collects a pound of hair in her hands. What a beautiful hair she had once. Most of her friends used to envy her for having such a rich and long classy hair. It’s the type of hair that turns all yellow in the sun, appears all brown in light, and brightens like a horse’s black skin at night. Indeed, hair is very important to a girl. People usually say, it’s her own crown of throne. A women loses a part of her with every grain of hair. Either she gains a new one or stays frozen and prays for the best to come.

After 15 mins of staring at the mirror in her room, she decided to write about it. That’s how she fights everything nowadays. If she’s every bothered with something, she writes about it. If her parents yell at her, she writes about abusive behavior. If she’s having her PMS, she explain the hormonal disorders. Even if she can’t bare to make breakfast, she will write about boredom. Then again, she’s not heard. She’s ultimately screaming and shouting from the bottom of her heart, but no one really listens to her. Most people think she’s an ignorant bitch who only listens to herself. No one knows how she suffers from old memories and how she hardly ever forgets an irritation.

All this, is not a big deal to her. She manages and survives. What really eats her heart out is not living the life she always wanted. She keeps waiting and waiting and waiting. She even thinks she’s the most pessimistic creature on earth. But, to tell you the truth, I don’t think she really is. I think she’s truly hoping for something to rock her world upside down and lifts her away from all the pain in the world. She suffered a lot and that’s too much for people to understand. All their demands and regulations feed on her. She can’t seem to know how to be happy anymore.

Everyone goes around telling her, it’s a life choice, it’s nothing but a state of mind. It’s not something you earn, it’s something you feel from the inside. But… no one tells her how or what. How is she supposed to feel when she’s happy? What does it feel like? What are the real qualifications of happy person? Is there still hope for her of ever becoming one? Will she start feeling fine after 60 years of suffering and laughter-departure? Did she really gain something in the end after all those years? Would that dream really come true?

Please… if someone knows the answer, tell me so I can deliver the message myself.

.. N.O.H.A ..

4 comments:

  1. Noha..I absolutely love it. And I can truly relate to it. I know how sometimes you feel like you're collapsing under the intensity of everything that is happening around you..you just can't take it anymore. You feel like you're standing idle and the world around you is whizzing by and for a moment all the sounds feel like one and all the colors unite..and you are standing there, in that same spot, for what seems like an eternity. At times it feels like you're still hanging in there, standing tall and strong..which you may be..or you may be secretly falling deeper into the darkness and u need someone to reach down and grab you because you just don't have the strength to get up anymore. Because you keep falling down and getting up, and repeating the process because you have to, because life goes on..because you're waiting for something grand and powerful yet tender and compassionate to take you away from that ugly world that you just can't seem to find your place in. you know you must create a world of your own to live in if you're ever going to be happy again..because the one we have now is just too polluted with all the wrong thoughts and values, too stained and overcrowded. Wow..I got too carried away i think! I don't know what happened I just started typing and kind of got in a trance till i finished! To end this on a happy note though, I have to say once we find that happy place to live in, it really does make a difference. It gives us the strength to put up with all the crap (pardon me!) that life keeps throwing at us every day. And I have to say..that beautiful, happy place really does exist, it may be different for each one of us, but I promise you it's out there..and God will send it your way, maybe He's just waiting for something..I don't know what or why..but I do know that He sends us what we need when He knows the time is right. Again..I loved and enjoy it very much :)

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  2. Lubna .. I have to admit, I fell in love with your comment! You made my day girl!

    Thank you soooo much for taking the time to read it. Luv ya xox

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  3. Well, I can relate to this and I know it can be exhausting but I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to your question. From my experience I think that faith in God is the most importatnt thing and knowing that God is there for you when no one else is should be your only consolation. People are not going to understand how you feel because they are not you and they are not living your life. I do believe that even though everything might be falling apart and you can't take it any more you will always find something to smile about. Little things can give you such joy if you knew how to appreciate them and no one can tell you how to be happy only you can answer that question. Have faith, hope and determination and everything will be okay eventually and even if you will wait for a long time don't lose hope :)

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  4. I absolutely agree with every word you said Nada.

    You see, it's a story about a women, not necessarily me :)

    She's a women who kept dreaming of a better life the entire time.

    But, unfortunately, time has slipped from her. That's the dilemma. So, does she has the right to live? That's what I was trying to present.

    Thx for the comment hun. I'm glad you liked it enough to read it ;)

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