To Write or Not To Write.. That is the Question!

Knock knock.

Who's there?
I'm your Blocked Mind.

Now, why the hell are you knocking on me?
Don't you realize you own one?

I sadly do! I just don't want to admit it.
But, why do you hate me so much? I wonder...

You're such an evil spirit that conquers my brain! I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't act like a normal human being. Are these enough reasons for you?
On the contrary! I'm nothing but a new challenge, a new opportunity for innovation, a spectacular way of bringing out the best in you.

Are you kidding me? That's not how I feel at all!
How do you feel then?

I'm almost 24/7 depressed! I'm so hungry for new ideas that they have become my regular food. I live on creativity, I starve for an original goosebump!
So, how is this supposed to be sad?

Looks like you're not getting what I'm saying.
Well, you don't have to be aggressive about it either.

Enlighten me then, how am I supposed to feel?
First, you have got to remind yourself to calm down. Say it out loud, and let your own ears hear it. Then, ask yourself this question; "What am I really stressed about? And will it ever work out?"

I do ask myself everyday and every night, yet nothing changes.
Maybe, you don't want it to change.

How so?
Maybe, you enjoy feeling sad. Didn't you ever think about that?

I admit, letting go of my sadness can be out of control sometimes.
There you go!

No, wait. I didn't finish what I have to say!
I'm not stopping you either. Go ahead :)

Hmm, ok. You're right, I really need to chill. Let's start over. I let go of my sadness, it gets out of control, and I think I'm Bipolar. Do you see where I'm coming from?
I do, but I really do not think this is what's ACTUALLY wrong with you.

What is it then?
Your real problem is that you underestimate your abilities. You so deprived out of love for so long, you forgot how it feels like to be accepted as you are. You're bruised so much, you can't let anyone in, you push people away the entire time. You lost the ability to differentiate between good and bad people; you live by one rule, "TRUST NO ONE!" You can't seem to let go of your imagination. Frustration has grown in every inch of your heart, body, and soul. But, most of all, you're too lazy and fragile to admit that it's possible for you to be happy. What's really wrong is, YOU! This Blocked Mind of yours is nothing but a symptom, it's not permanent. You can change it, you've done it millions of time before. Just believe -- that's all what I'm trying to say.

I guess you're right. I know I can do it. I just get tired, you know. I need to wallow from time to time. I guess I do this to block away bad memories, but they keep coming.
You know the trigger, use it!

Yeah, I guess I will. I can't keep doing this to myself. I have got to think positively, get my act together, and enjoy the things I've been wishing for all my life to happen. And, they do. Maybe, not smoothly as everyone else, but they eventually do.
Remember, you have a voice now. Don't be afraid to use it, although you've worked so hard to make it vanish. Hang on in there, and spread what you have to say to the world as you always wanted. It's your brain which keeps you insane, it's the flowing words which make you feel alive once again. It's that itchy feeling of yours that tells you you've got something good to share. Just keep doing it for yourself like you always did. Let it come to you on its own. Pour out all the feelings you have. Writing has been you're ultimate best friend, don't lose that. You can not afford to kill it. It's your only way for salvation; it's how you breathe, and it's how you survive. Do your best -- it's okay to be you. Write, girl... WRITE! Never Stop!

Hashtags Magazine | June 2013