Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I have no title for this ..

what a strange weather and what a strange timing .. as if the universe understands how i feel ..
it's so windy and cold outside .. lots of dust in the wind too .. it's really restless although it's 2:00 am .. everyone is asleep .. silence at last .. i'm just trying to finish my work calmly after a very rough day i had yesterday and an awful night i'll live to remember ..

Never felt that terrible .. Never felt that discusting .. Never wished dying like i wished last night .. My brains were about to pop out of my mind and scream out loud: "LEAVE ME ALONE!" ..

I really don't mean to be gloomy people .. try to understand the daily pressure i'm in .. writing is the only thing that helps me stay alive .. i admit i'm not always that clumsy and bloomy .. but i really don't intend to .. sometimes i'm just being sentimental or even romantic .. but people tend to remember the sad things about me .. don't know why .. maybe cuz they think i can never feel happy .. or maybe cuz they think that i'm a complicated living creature walking on earth ..

Wish i could do like my shrink said .. wish i could just let go of the little voices that always tell me that i'm not good enough .. or that i'm not fun to be with .. although i am .. i swear i do love laughs and jokes all day long .. but i don't like emptyness nor love the idea of being pointless .. that's just me .. why can't others accept this ?? .. why am i the only one who should take all the crap from everyone and gladly accept it :) ?! .. it's damn hard being sensitive !

.. N.O.H.A ..

Friday, January 18, 2008

This is how my mind works .. LITERALLY!

I don't feel like writing about one theme today .. Just wanna spill out what i have in mind .. Thought of trying something new .. It's like writing bits and pieces of thoughts that fly away in my mind .. This is how my mind works .. Check it out :)

What's up with the mood swings??

How can a person have a mood and in a spare of a second turn into someone else??

Everything is really weird around me .. One day you are surrounded with friends and the other day you feel like you are all alone ..

I wanna feel someone's hug .. Wanna feel tenderly touched .. Why can't I just have what i need??

I'm going on 26 and I'm still treated like a 12 years old girl .. When will all this end??

Sometimes I really can't figure out what I'm thinking and why, but I just let myself go insane .. It really helps ..

Wanna go wild .. Wanna feel something I never felt before .. Wanna relax and loosen things up ..

I always dream of living by the sea ..

People can be really judgmental sometimes and it really hurts ..

I'm really seeking tenderness ..

As much as i love nights, i really hate what it does to me ..

I just wish to stop complaining and start acting .. Although i do, but it's never enough ..

Hate it when i enter this phase of non-belonging ..

Feeling so sleepy, but don't feel like it at all ..

Sometimes i feel like getting away from everyone and anyone, but then i tell myself: "How can u be more alone than you already are?!" ..

"Run Away, Run Away, Run Away" ..

.. N.O.H.A ..

Monday, January 14, 2008

That's who I am ...

Always wondered about the sense of belonging ..
Always dreamt of a better place than the one I'm living in ..
Always felt like I don't fit in this world ..
Ever wished for that special someone who will be my shelter for life ...

I know I may be repeating myself ..
I know I may sound boring ..
I know I may be dreamy ..
Lovingly, hope you accept me as I am ...

.. N.O.H.A ..

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

E7sasy Bel Dafa :)

Assalam Alikom everyone..

ana motfa2la khear :)

awel yoom fel sana elnaharda .. motfa2la khear we 7asa en Rabena sub7ano wa ta3ala rayedli el khear.. begad rayedli el khear fe kol 7aga ... da e7sasy elnaharda :)

da aktar wa2t ba7ebo fel yoom .. a3da fe 2otty we basma3 Om Kalthoum wel donia sheta we matara :D so relaxing begad ...

a7la 7aga lama el wa7ed yeb2a hady keda.. we fekro kaman hady ... we 7ases en el donia begad lesa 7elwa ... feeha 7agat bet7ebaha.. hya sa3ba ah .. we malyana ta3ab ah .. bas fe akher el yoom, leek 2ooda we e7sas bel dafa :) .. ah momken nkoon a3deen lwa7dena we mafeesh 7ad gambena .. bas 3ady .. mesh moshkela .. madam benla2y nafsena fe 7agat tania kteer .. zay el ketaba maslan :)

nefsy fe 7agat kteer.. we ba7lam be 7agat kteer ..
nefsy a3mel 7agat kteera ba7ebaha.. we nefsy yeb2a leya 7ayah we kayan 7a2ee2i ..

ba7lam be yoom teb2a el far7a mesh say3any ... we ba7lam be yoom a7es bel aman...
nefsy awi a3eesh fe beat 3al ba7r .. we atfarag 3al moog tool 7ayaty ...
ba7eb awi soot el ba7r we e7sas el ramla fe 2eedy ...
we ree7et el matar we howa meghara2 el donia ..
kol 7aga betezhar keda ... el maya leeha se7r ghareeb sub7an ALLAH ...
fe3lan el maya betkhaly kol shea2 7ay ... sub7an ALLAH ...

3arfeen kaman eih eli bykhaly el wa7ed hady awi ???!!!
yemken teftekro eno kalam mo7adrat aw television .. bas walahi maho keda abadan ..
Reda Rabena sub7ano wa ta3ala .. begad .. mesh hezar ...
mafeesh sakeena ba3d keda.. wala e7sas ba3d keda.. lama te7es en RABENA rady 3anak we te7es be karamo el kebeer awi awi awi ..
Ya Rab yen3em 3leana bel ne3ma di tool ma7na 3aysheen ...
begad mafeesh 7aga a7la wala at-har wala adfa wala at3am men keda ...

fe aman ellah :)

.. N.O.H.A ..