Showing posts from 2007

I'm a living creature, u know ...

OH GOD! They simply can’t get it! .. When I really take a look at someone, I know if I can be with him or not.. it’s really so stressful how they wanna control u all the time.. They pretend like it’s in ur hands, when it’s really not.. It’s really one of my biggest fears to marry someone I don’t want.. Why can’t they just respect your intuition ??!! .. I didn’t like him .. He wasn’t my type .. I don’t want someone to pull me back.. I want someone to set me free ppl .. SET ME FREE ! It’s so hard for me to see someone around my parents.. My mum start acting like she found a treasure walking on earth and my dad talks about nothing but himself .. Everyday passes by I feel more and more frustrated.. I’ll never find him.. I’ll never find the one who will pull me from the atmosphere I’m living in .. I just feel they all wanna get rid of me… I feel I’m a damn burden that pulls everyone back … I just wish they take no for an answer.. I don’t like him and that’s it !!! Please god help me get thr

Gary Jules - Mad World

Love this song.. It's so true !! GARY JULES "Mad World" All around me are familiar faces Worn out places, worn out faces Bright and early for their daily races Going nowhere, going nowhere Their tears are filling up their glasses No expression, no expression Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow No tomorrow, no tomorrow And I find it kinda funny I find it kinda sad The dreams in which I'm dying Are the best I've ever had I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take When people run in circles It's a very, very mad world mad world Children waiting for the day they feel good Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday Made to feel the way that every child should Sit and listen, sit and listen Went to school and I was very nervous No one knew me, no one knew me Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson Look right through me, look right through me And I find it kinda funny I find it kinda sad The dreams in which I'm dying Are the best I've ever had I find it hard

Really impressive !

I got this poem from a group.. Don't know who wrote it yet.. It's worth reading.. very very touchy !! عصفور و جوة قفص حديد مسجون يحلم بباب مفتوح يطير يلف الكون و لما جه اليوم و إنفتح الباب الملعون خاف يطير قال خليني في المضمون قالوا كل حاجة بتتوزن بالأعمال قلت طب كانوا يوزنوا بالأحمال دا أنا ساعتها كنت أبقى عال شايل حمول و أنا في عمر العيال عمري من بين إيديا عمال يعدي و أنا بتحايل عليه و أقوله هدي رد قالي كان بودي كدة كدة لا بتجيب و لا بتودي زي حتة تلج ساعات ببقى صلب و ساعات زي شوية مية بتصب نفسي يوم أحب و أتحب و أبدل حتة التلج بنار في قلب دنيا واسعة و فيها كلنا مساجين من الشبابيك نبص على غيرنا و نقول مساكين شايفين سجن غيرنا و سجننا مش شايفين بنقضي مدة حكمنا و فاكرين نفسنا عايشين شفت حلم في آخر الطريق بعيد جريت عليه فرحان سعيد زي طفل في ليلة عيد وصلت لقيته مش ليا كان في إيد كنت فاكر نفسي عايش حالة حب و قلت خلاص داب الحجر و بقالي قلب بس يظهر ده رابع المستحيل الصعب متأصلة القسوة فيا و غاوي حرب ساعات يحلالي منك يا نفسي أطير و يعجز قلمي و ورقي عن التعبير و يجن عقلي و يبطل تفكير أفر

I Love ...

A friend of mine requested a new theme that I should add to my writings. He thinks I’m making myself old, and mentioned that I should talk about HOPE for a change. So, I’ve been searching for something that I can relate it to, and found it really hard :) I’m not saying that I’m all pessimistic. Maybe I’m just not trying to buckle up a list of wishes that can’t happen. You see, I get so attached to something or anything I love, whether a person or even a song. Maybe that’s why most of the time I’ve managed to control my wishes; couldn't just wish too much for something because it’s 90% of the time hard to exist…. However, I’ll give it a shot :) I agree it sometimes gives you a splendid feeling to list what you like in life. However, it’s not quite nice when you start feeling sorry for yourself.. I’m not a demanding person, but I expect and appreciate simple things in life, like honesty, love, care, consideration, etc.    And I love the moonlight.. I really do.. I find it m

A Song Called "Yesterday"

..:: A Song Called "Yesterday" ::.. Each time I listen to that song "Yesterday" I feel so gloomy and I begin to curse the day The day that I met you in And felt all this love I have within… Each time I wake up in the morning I feel so gloomy and I begin mourning Mourning about you not being by side And remembering how it then felt so right… Each time I try to sleep I do nothing but weep Weep not only by tears, but also by thoughts That only comes when holding to some hopes… But in the end I have nothing in my hands Other than forgetting all I had once And hoping that I could give my heart just one more chance… .. N.O.H.A ..

What's with "I'm better off alone!"

..:: What's with "I'm better off alone!" ::.. What's with "I'm better off alone!" It keeps poping up in my mind every single glance Is it depression or just knowing a new fact of life?? Will it go away or keep on poping till i drop dead?? It's really annoying me to a great extent to the point of kicking my head till it flies away.. I really wish to scream it out loud to only get rid of it once and for all.. but the problem is.. it always keep coming back.. never goes away for just one glance.. I guess i should learn to live with it in the end.. cuz it seems it will be my only true friend.. Hey sentence don't you dare go away don't leave me after all this.. like all the others did.. [6:38 a.m] .. N.O.H.A ..


..:: WONDERING ::.. The stars are bouncing for love The moon is always bright and shiny How I wish I could live among them to try for once the feeling of glory Did u ever wonder how does the water clean everything from its powder?! Why does everything love to glow when the night comes and the wind blow?! I never knew why do I love the moonlight Is it just me or everyone love seeing things bright?! Strange how I feel so gloomy but yet I long for some tenderness It is really hard to find something groovy That's why dreaming never to me ends I should never ever stop hoping That a day will come when everything becomes so sweet and full of graciousness… Sun 6/11/2005 6:40 a.m ..N.O.H.A ..

The Sound Of Bitterness

Assalam Alikom.. I may sound a bit harsh and rude.. Hope u’ll indulge wut I have to say… I’m Feeling numb and neglected.. Maybe a bit depressed, but that’s how i feel right now.. I’m not trying to fake it either.. I have a strange feeling of letting go of everything … Setting things to the wildness of life I guess… I dun feel like loving nor caring about anyone anymore.. I just feel I’m not capable of loving either.. My sensitivity holds me within its claws and lets me fade away bit by bit.. Sometimes I manage to pretend and tell everyone I’m alright, but most of the time i can't fake it.. It's just too much to handle.. Everyday goes by I score a big fat zero… Feeling trapped and prisoned forever.. I’m so damn afraid of everything… Wanna scream out loud and sleep forever… My loneliness kills me and I keep begging for ppl to hang out with me like a desperate helpless creature… No one will ever understand how I live nor with whom.... No one will ever be able to understand how I f

Romantic & Proud !

I’ll start my post by stating out loud: “I’M ROMANTIC” .. I’m romantic and proud .. Actually being romantic is what made me alive all those years.. Being romantic got me closer to ALLAH (swt).. Being romantic made me in touch with my feelings all the time .. Being romantic made me know myself very well .. Being romantic made me feel things no one will easily have .. Yeah, it brought a lot of tears and agony along the process, but gave me lots of passion and gentleness as well… Funny how some guys think it’s a point of weakness, although it’s the fruit that we’re born with.. Why do people always think that in order to be healthy you gotta be so practical and materialistic ??!! I’m not also saying that you gotta be naive either .. I’ve just clarifying that a person can live with both his/her heart and mind… sometimes it’s a very hard combination to achieve, but in my opinion that’s true salvation and balance… I’ve always had this passion for nature… my favorite flower is Tu

Sensitive & Trying To Deal With It

Her mum told her a very strange phrase today.. Never thought she would ever tell her a phrase like that.. She knows it's been hard living with each other lately, but she just stroke her when she simply shouted at her while having a discussion, " You don't love anybody!" "How can she say something like that?! It really hurts," she said.. It's not that she believes her, but it's just the thought that her mum can think of her this way.. It's really strange.. "I don't love anyone 'cause I don't accept people treating me like s*** ?? .. Do I have to accept their ignorance just to win their love?!" She was really astonished by her words.. You may think she's exaggerating or something.. Maybe, but she's just stating what she feels.. Isn't it at least her right?! .. "Why is it always so hard to state what you think?! And when you don't, you receive the worst comments anyone can hear of," she thou

Fear Non-Stop ..

Assalam Alikom .. Everytime I try opening a new msg to post, i pause like a minute or so; thinking how shall i begin my words... How i can be interesting enough , so that ppl dun get bored from my thoughts... But then i just tell myself.. just write... sure u'll come up with something... and i do sub7an ALLAH :) .. kolo fadl men ellah sub7ano we ta3ala... Funny how a person can get so worried from those little things and a lot of other things as well... Maybe when u feel like u're being watched all the time or that u're being criticized thru ur entire life, u become so weak and fear becomes ur best friend... Noone can really understand wut i'm saying, unless he/she were in my shoes ... The problem is that ur surrounded by fear anywhere and anytime... Whether from ur parents, ur country or even ur own self !!! Fear really can consume a person to the bones... But the main problem is when ur already grown up enough and u still find urself feeling the same fear u had when u

My Mind vs. Theirs

What would you do if u found out that ppl regularly talk behind ur back? What would you do if u found out that ppl dun do the job that u assign them to do? What would you do if u found out that ppl neglect u and they'll always intend to do so? Who's right and Who's wrong?? ... YOU or THEM ?? We always tend to fully depend on how our brain works.. but don't u think our own mind can trick us sometimes??!! ... How many times we thought that we're the ones who know everything... How many times did we make sure that we're always right on something... How many times do we start a debate and then become unable to make a closure ?? Call me crazy, but i dun like empty talks like how's ur hair and how did u manage to do ur nails like so and so .... I'm not saying that life is gotta be all about seriousness either... I just wish to state that u can also be fun and NOT STUPID !!! Who said in order to be fun, u gotta talk about meaningless issues :D:D Ppl my a

..:: Palestinian Am I by E. Yaghi ::..

This is poem i found once , but unfortunatelly i really can't remember the name of the girl or any info about her except that she's palestinian... Hope u like it ... ..:: Palestinian Am I by E. Yaghi ::.. No one can take away from me my identity,for it is mine. Palestinian am I. I am the river that flows through my land. I am the mountain Noble and magnificent Rising up out of chaos and destruction. I greet the morning sun that shines down on my fertile valleys and parches my barren desert. I am the red poppy and yellow daffodil that grow upon my blood stained hills. I am the battle cry of freedom that echoes through my corridor sand every fiber of my being. Palestinian am I. I am the proud owner of Orange or chards and lemon blossoms and honeybees, wild and free. I am the Palestinian David child wielding a single stone Against the Israeli Goliath. I am not afraid,for truth is with me and God is on my side. If I die,a choir of angels will honor meand later, my parents will gras

A Poem | My Agony

Several years ago i thought to myself, why don't i try writing a poem... It didn''t really matter back then whether it is good or bad.. Just wanted to try something new.. Later i started writing couple of things and i liked the idea of me rythming everything together :D What i'm gonna post this time isn't my first peom though.. But i luv it anyways and wanna share it with u .. i'll be posting the other poems as well, so plz leave me a comment if u wanna ... It will really make my day :) ... Hope u like them @}--;---- ..:: MY AGONY ::.. Different faces … Constant lies Expressions flooding … Changeable eyes Things to find out each day But they only lead to the ties that grow within you when you rise …. They crawl into your senses and suddenly you begin to sacrifice … Thinking of your past beliefs You long for the days of innocence and compromise… But again you live your life to breathe the air That's filled of dishonesty and thoughtless minds… Wed 21/9/2005 5:

My Character Flower

Assalam Alikom again ... Guess I just made this blog and i can't get my hands to relax lolz... feeling i have so much to say ... but as usual i'll be saying bits and pieces.. anyways.......... Today i popped into a nice site full of GR8 pics and i mean REALLY REALLY GR8 !!! I found this particular pic. and i thought to myself; " That's exactly me, sub7an ALLAH !!" This is how i'm so sensitive and full of details and complications from the inside, and so harsh and itchy from the outside... or at least how i appear to be... I confess i can be hard dealing with sometimes and ppl tend not to get me... Some call me a snob, some call be complicated, some call me sheakha :) , some call me EFL (which means strict i guess) ....etc. But the truth is i'm so fragile and vulnerable to the extent that i always build this wall between ppl and me, in order not to get hurt .. But, at the end i become hurt anyways

My First Post

Assalam Alikom Everyone ... As u can see I'm new here.. never tried blogging b4 .. thought about it several times though, but never been convinced of it till this instant.. To tell u the truth I've been always afraid to even try, although I've been writing in my diary for years.. So, I guess ur asking urselves, then why am i doing it now... Well, I simply wanted to talk to someone.. anyone... Wanted to express wut I have in my mind, maybe it would help me someday.. Wanted to share wut I have to say, then maybe I could make a difference.. I've always loved to write.. It's a passion really... So, at first I'll be posting old stuff of mine to get started around here... I'll be posting mainly my thoughts & simple poems... This place will be a Mini-Diary for me... Hope it would be interesting to you and I hope you enjoy it as much as I will really do :) :) Best Wishes, .. N.O.H.A ..