Monday, December 2, 2019

Midnight Reflections

I wholeheartedly believe in people. I fall for the kind ones, and I give my all to anyone in crisis. Some see me foolish, and some believe I should change.

I do try to change, but eventually I keep going back to who I am. I keep forgetting to put myself first. Each morning is a real roller coaster. I have to remind myself to focus on the deeds, not the support.

Solitude is my ultimate getaway. I try to simplify things as much as I can. I end up overwhelmed, though. I’ve grown to enjoy the slow pace of things.

I fight... I fight to survive the daily pressures, the struggles, the wicked encounters. I think I’m doing a good job, yet no one seems to notice. “You have to say it out loud,” I tell myself. “You have to ask for it. You have to state it. You have to claim it. Or else, shut up and accept it for what it is!”

All I can wish for, at the moment, is to never give up on feeling better and living a better life. Life is harsh; hope I can find the laughs and the patience to pull me through.


Wednesday, October 16, 2019

I 🧡 Eyes

No photo description available.

I 🧡 eyes.
They utter words you can not speak.
They tell stories, they show years of age.
They hold secrets to one’s soul.
They have it all.

Sunday, September 15, 2019

القرار يعني مسئولية

كمية ‫‏البنات‬ اللى قلبها وعقلها فاضى من جوا تقهر القلب ..
حلقة فى ودنك: تاج المرأة الحقيقى ‫‏عقلك وقلبك‬ .. مش جمالك وبس!

إياكى حد يقنعك بغير كده .. إياكى تخلى بنى أدمين يفكروا بدالك ..
إياكى تفرطى فى حقك إنك تتعلمى من غلطك وتكونى أحسن ..

أنتِ ‫‏حُرة‬ .. و ‫‏الحرية‬ معناها ‫‏القرار‬ .. والقرار مش معناه نستمر في الخطأ ..
القرار معناه ‫‏مسئولية‬ .. أمام الله قبل نفسك ..
خافى ‫‏الله‬ وبس .. الله فوق كل شئ وأي حد ..

اعرفي إن حقك تفرحى وحقك تزعلى ..
حقك تحسى بمشاعر وحقك تستخدمى عقلك ويكون عندك بصيرة ..
حقك تكونى جميلة بس حقك تكونى ‫‏ملكة‬ ويكون ‫‏الله وكيلك‬ ..

كونى أنتِ زي ما أنتِ وبس ..

Saturday, September 14, 2019

إعترافات ليلية

No photo description available.

بقيت حاسة إني بكذا شخصية وكذا حالة في الساعة الواحدة .. تغيير متقطع ومالوش ملامح .. مالوش ماسكة ولا تفسير واضح ..

مابقتش عارفة أنا زعلانة ولا فرحانة .. كل اللي واثقة منه إني كارهة لسؤال "مالك" ..
ماعنديش إجابة وماليش خُلق للتفكير فيها ..

مش عايزة حد يسألني لأني غرقانة في الأسئلة وبسأل نفسي في اليوم الواحد كل ثانية تقريباً ..
ليه برّيح اللي حواليّا على حساب نفسي؟ .. ليه مابقتش أحس بطعم حاجة؟ .. ليه محدش عنده استعداد يقبلني زي ما أنا؟ وليه محدش حتى بيحاول يقرّب مني وشايفين إني كئيبة؟ .. ليه الناس بقت مؤذية بالسهولة دي و امتى هبطل اتفاجأ؟ .. هو مش اللي بيصبر بينول؟ طب أنا امتى هرتاح؟ ..

هي الدنيا مش هتبطل تعلّي عليّا؟! .. هو أنا لوحدي اللي كده؟!

Friday, February 8, 2019

لسه بحلم إنه مافرقناش

يعدي الوقت ومهما يعدي، لسه بحلم إنه مافرقناش .. 

إنه كان مسافر و رجع يشوف فراقه عمل فينا إيه و الدنيا وديتنا لفين ..

نفس الفكرة، بس بمشاهد مختلفة .. مرة في أوضة نومه ومرة في المصنع ومرة على السفرة ومرة بره في الطل ..

اللي مطمني إني بشوفه مبسوط .. كأنه حس أخيراً كنا بنحبه قد إيه .. الله يرحمك يابا ويحسن مثواك ويقوينا على موانع الخير ويصرف عنا شرور خلقه .. آمين

وحشتنا ♥️

Monday, January 21, 2019

I need to save myself

I need to stop giving too much, loving too much, forgetting myself too much… doing everything too much.

I need to stop pleasing everyone and forsaking my right to be treated equally.

I need to become bolder. I need to set boundaries and limitations for people who invade my life.

I need to do what makes ME happy, not everyone else.

I need to save myself. No one else will.

This piece is part of a challenge that will hopefully encourage me to get back to writing. Wish me luck. :)
#FreeWritingChallenge #DayTwo

Sunday, January 6, 2019

2019 First Thoughts: Life is Short

I’m always late for everything… I’m late for appointments, I’m late in responses, I’m late in life.

When friends used to meet on Thursdays, I was at home trying to convince my parents to join them. When people were way ahead with their careers, I was finally starting one.

While some of the people I know managed to be in control of their emotions, I still face times when I’m an emotional wreck… hanging on by a thread.

“Focus on the quality, not the quantity,” a college professor once advised me, when I shared my frustration of not completing my translation exam on time. From that moment forward, I learned to give everything time. I knew I’ll have to live with it. I admit it slightly solved my problem. But still, I struggle with the fact that things take time to cook; especially in a world where everything and everyone are running like crazy. I find myself dynamic and fast sometimes, though – as weird as it sounds.

I know I changed. I’m not the same person I was back then. I evolved… I don’t have the same needs, but I’m pretty much the same when it comes to sincerity. In fact, I yearn for tranquility more and more by the day.

I’m not into small talks anymore. Funny ones, yes – but not shallow or meaningless.

I’m getting better. I’m learning to love myself more. I can be messy sometimes, but I’ve learned to pull myself back up.

Life is short — that I perfectly know now.

This piece is part of a challenge that will hopefully encourage me to get back to writing. Wish me luck. :)