It's blurry every where I go .. It's dark .. it's empty and it's shallow ..The disorder is eating me alive .. I keep fighting, wresliing, gaining nothing but bitterness and sadness .. There's no way out .. It's very hard this time .. Everything feels so numb, so out of life .. Crawling is the word, fatigure is the act, my mind is the place .. This upper box of mine needs some cracking, some banging, some breaking .. These thoughts of mine needs some elimination, enervation, starvation .. Lots of work to do, constant headaches and stomach aches .. Deeply falling, hardly rising and eternally confusing .. I don't have to make any sense, I know .. Just venting is my way to go .. Pain eats me, death awaits me .. with no one 'knowing how' to save me .. Sorry for myself is the word, constantly crying is the act, and my mental sanctuary is the place .. .. N.O.H.A ..
Showing posts from October, 2010
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Laying in my bed with thoughts of shattered dreams and longing for the tenderness I've missed so much for too long, I deeply call for a prayer that would change my life for eternity. I keep asking myself this question every time I watch " Finding Neverland ." Does it really exist? Will it be possible for me to live a magical life of adventures and mystical delights? What do I have to do to bring back the skill of imagination I've lost? Peter Pan had to think of happy thoughts to make it through his childhood. He blocked away all the sorrows of lonliness and poverty. He lived a much simpler life of good and evil. Everything was clear, daring, and exciting. He had friends, he helped others, and he managed to bring happiness to everyone who had ever heard of him. Isn't this what life is about? Aren't we supposed to be surrounded by people who care for us in every aspect of every day? Don't we enjoy the pleasure of giving and charity? It seems to me that
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Once upon a time, in a far away Arabian land, there was a man called, Usama. He was widely known of his nobility and courage. His sword and his horse were his only best friends. Growing alone, he has been brought up by the local black smith, who taught him the arts of battle and showed him where dignity lies. Ever since Usama was a young boy, he had his eyes on Laila; she was the most beautiful princess anyone has ever seen. He knew he was not a man of wealth, nor he had the treasures for such royalty. However, he was determined to win her heart at any cost or under any circumstances, that life would ever bring him. One day, the village messengers have crossed the entire village with one rewinding announcement, "Behold the King's most precious proposal, fellow citizens. If a man wishes to marry Princess Laila, he must pass this test. Whoever finds the lost necklace of the Princess will be announced as her Husband-to-be in a grand wedding ceremony, held under their honors.” T