I know reality differs a lot from what I often imagine, but I love the thought that I maybe, just maybe, live this moment one day... Although Hope doesn’t knock on my door at this stage and will not do anytime soon, but I just can’t help it... These romantic urges slip slowly into my veins and kinda give me a magnificent tangible touch that manages to make me incredibly relaxed... I don’t know the secret behind all this; however I don’t care as long as it makes me a bit tender and lovable...
I don’t think people know this part about me and actually I’m not being open with people anymore... Like I stated the other day: “My heart is locked up and I’m lovin’ it !” I actually meant that it’s locked up towards everything and not just love... But, I suddenly found myself concentrating on this one thought that I’m loveless ! .. I’m loveless although that was my main wish through my entire life and I always thought that sooner or later I will end up in a happily ever after story... That’s how I survived along the years...

I know you might all think that I’m just running from facing my reality and I trap myself in my own little world... However, I really don’t care... All I care about right now is that I’m better off alone and that I’m a lot calmer this way... Maybe it’s not meant for me to be sociable like I thought I would be and it’s really fine by me .. I live with myself each day and that deserves work and dedication as well as anything else in life... So, I might as well enjoy it :) .. Believe it or not, we all do this... We all love being alone even if we admitted otherwise... Indeed, we look for company every where and every time, but also we love the fact that we have the last minutes before we sleep for ourselves because it’s the only real time that we honestly wonder about things that we enjoy or even about the dirty little secrets that we keep avoiding all the time... Still, they’re OUR secrets and we’ll always feel amazing if they are kept this way forever…
So, whether I’m feeling romantic or not, whether I’m feeling the worst headache ever, I always enjoy those mood swings even though they tend to be so harsh and sudden... But, that’s the only way I feel like living... When I feel, wonder, sway, or ever dream of the thoughts inside this crazy head of mine, I feel ALIVE !!
Enjoy your romantic moments people... Please don’t take it for granted... You don’t know how it can magically revive a desperate soul as mine...
.. N.O.H.A ..
at some point of time, it seems the only way , to just be indifferent to all and everything.....just be.
ReplyDeletevery comforting, no headaches....but lot of oneself is lost in this state of no worries :)
great post.
I totally agree .. The mind longers for eternal peace as always ..
ReplyDeleteThx a lot for leaving a comment :)